FACT: Cheese is THE BEST thing on the planet.
EVIDENCE: String Cheese, Sliced Cheese, Deli Cheese, Round Cheese, Cubed Cheese, Melted Cheese, Soft Cheese, Hard Cheese, Cheesecake, Cheese Fondue, Cream Cheese, Cheese Burgers, Cheese Fries, Cheetos, Cheezits, Cheese Pizza, Grilled Cheese, Mac & Cheese, Nacho Cheese, Cheese Platters, Cheese & Crackers, Quesedillas, Cheese Tapas, Cheese Bites, Cheese Puffs, Goldfish, Doritos, Cheesy Popcorn, Cheese Dips, Cheese Pretzels, Cheese Twists, Cheese Soups, Bread & Cheese, Alfredo, Lasagna, Enchiladas, Cheese Omelets, Cheese Crepes, Quiche, Casseroles, Marscapone, Eggplant Parmesan, Chicken Parmesan, Cheddar Crusts, Cheddar Cheese…
The list is BOUNDLESS
My name is Tarreyn, and I’m a cheese-a-holic.
I have spent my entire life devoted to cheese.
If I didn’t like kissing & company so much, I could be a cheese nun…
If it were based on my middle school career, they could change the abba zabba slogan to “Cheese, you’re my only friend.”
Some pretty pivotal life moments for me have involved cheese….
A) The worst thing anyone has ever said to me:
My college Nutrition Professor told me once
“Eating cheese is basically eating a straight stick of butter”…..
All I had to say back: “WORTH IT”
B) Among the countless moments that made me realize that Jake was the one for me, there is one that especially stands out:
In the act of helping clean out his childhood room before his parents moved, among the skateboards & beanie babies, I found one particular memento from his youth that carried a distinct resonance…
It was a laminated yellow card…
He has allowed me to share it with you:
Front of Card:
Back of Card:
The discovery of this fan-freaking-tastic artifact (which now lives permanently on our fridge) opened the door to further cheese questioning, which resulted in me discovering that as a child Jake too was obsessed with cheese.
I’m talking Cheese Hats (count em’ 4!!), Cheese School Reports, and tons of other cheese regalia.
He was The Cheese Kid in class!
CLEARLY we are a match made in cheese heaven.
C) When I was 12 I entered a Kraft competition called: Why I love Cheese.
The prize was 1 Million dollars.
And I used that Money to save a local killer whale from captivity and reunite him with his Orca family…
Ok, that was a lie.
I may have watched Free Willy recently…
Crap, Now now all I can think about are awesome animal-related movies from my childhood…
My point is that cheese is fucking awesome.